Enigma of the Heart

last week was rough but memorable. i remembered it was a saturday when the typhoon struck and we lost electricity. yesterday another typhoon hit the northern regions of luzon, which in a way affected metro manila. typhoon pepeng is as destructive as ondoy, only ondoy generated so much rains while pepeng produced more winds. we can sleep soundly tonight for we are far from danger. the direction and speed of typhoon pepeng changed and i hope it would leave the country ASAP.

i'm so thankful that metro manila is now recovering from the damages caused by the typhoon. one filipino virtue is resiliency- easily rebounding from any adversities. and filipinos are a bunch of happy people. not because we make fun of the situation, but we have hope in our hearts that these problems will come to pass and that a Supreme Being- God- is going to bless us.

i know that inspite of what have happened, filipinos are very optimistic- we will have a merry Christmas. to celebrate God's goodness and protection, and to thank Him for what He has done.

i've lost count as to how many days it is before Christmas. i do not want to count anymore. i'll post it tomorrow :)

heavy rains struck the metro and its neighboring towns, 26th of September 2009, Saturday. our electricity was cut-off around 3:25 in the afternoon, and was brought back after 3 days. for 3 days we were clueless of the disaster that Typhoon Ondoy generated. we only heard rumors of the flood that reached 5-6 feet deep, and stranded people in the streets and inside their homes or on the roofs of their houses waiting to be rescued. it was tragic, and it was the first time i have ever experienced that kind of calamity.

we were still fortunate though, that we live on a higher area of Cainta, where we rarely experience flooding. but for those living in the low lands, they have been greatly affected by the floods. 27 September at 4:00 am, the electricity in a village behind our house was restored. of course we envy them every time we look out of our window and see our neighbor have electricity.

inspite of that we're still very thankful to God that somehow we still have money to buy food. and that time i was expecting remittance from my husband in Dubai. we went out, 4:30 in the afternoon and saw muddy roads and bushes that fell from trees. just then have i realized the aftermath of the calamity. we went to a market 3 blocks away from the village, and saw that a fast food is closed. i brought along our drained cellphones to be charged in a convenience store in that area and saw that it was broken. there was a shortage of candles. there were limited crops in the market and so i realized how terrible the situation was.

28th of September we went out to withdraw money from a mall. hordes of people were shopping that time and bought a lot of supplies that stocks ran out. candles, canned goods, bread even poultry and meat products. people were panic buying for the fear of running out basic supplies. but if there is no electricity, where in the world are you going to keep fresh produce so it won't spoil? good news is that the floods subsided, and the roads passable even by small vehicles.

only today, 29 September, at 11:30 am was the electricity restored in the village and everything went back to normal. i browsed the internet to see news of the typhoon and was grief-stricken to what my fellowmen suffered. what they have gone through was worse than ours. their appliances, electronic gadgets were broken; their clothes dirty; their houses muddy inside out. at least we were just cut off-of electricity and internet and telephone. i thank God for protecting us and for sparing us from the calamity. i just wouldn't know what i would do if i were in their situation, considering my special daughter and my old mother. and i don't know how to swim! i don't know what i would do...

my aunt asked for help because flood reached inside their house. they said that it would take 2 months before the flood would completely subside- not just in their area but to those who are greatly affected by the flood as well. so my cousin and her 4 month old baby girl would be here with us until everything is ok.

i've seen people showing their concern for our situation that they are offering monetary support. we're not really asking that from them but if their hearts tell them to help us then it would be greatly appreciated. actually, the mere act of concern is enough to touch my heart to let me know that i am not alone.

i know this is just but one part of life one has to go through. and when one has overcame the trials he will be so much blessed. as long as you pray and believe that you already have what you've prayed for then consider it done. in this kind of situation it only takes faith and prayer, and a hopeful heart.

thank You God for Your grace. thank You for Your love that endures forever. thank You God, thank You Jesus for everything. I love You, Lord. thank You so much.

89 days before Christmas!

this morning, i was so thankful that God healed me. i praised and thanked Him in my prayer. i seek for Him during my morning quiet time. and i found the promises from God's word which i can trust. i wanted my life to live for God's glory and the Spirit revealed to me through God's word how i could live a life glorifying to God. if i want to know the perfect will of God for my life, i should be transformed and renewed. i shouldn't conform my self any longer to the patterns of this world. According to

Romans 12:2

           Do not conform yourself any longer to the pattern of this world , but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.

that ain't easy to do. but by the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, i know that i can do it. if i have to renew my mind then i have to censor my thoughts. any thought that is not aligned with God's words should be pulled down, and thrown away. that is actually one of the keys to a victorious Christian life- to have our minds renewed and transformed by Jesus then everything we do is in obedience to God. when you become obedient to God, definitely the blessings will follow. i quoted and memorized this verse so that i could have a weapon.

2 Corinthians 10:5

            We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we make captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

our minds is the battlefield. everytime we think of something, especially if it is not good, then we're already engaging in a battle. we shouldn't dwell on that thought for too long, or else we will be imagining things within what we thought. when we start imagining we think of the steps that we're going to take just to do what we thought of. and when we let our thought and imagination linger on our minds, we take action. why? because that imagination became a stronghold and starts controlling our life. that is conforming to the world. we have to censor our thoughts. throw down negative thoughts and rebuke it in the name of Jesus. replace it with God's words that has power. we should be controlled by God, and not by our thoughts. our thoughts should always be according to God's word and the perfect will of God. that should be our stronghold- God's words. when we have fully relied on God's word, we will truly be victorious in every aspect of life. trials may come but that wouldn't tear you apart and break you to pieces. because God's word and His promises are our foundation, we're sure to be blessed even in our trials and sufferings. we just have to learn to censor our thoughts and

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

God bless us all!

90 days left before Christmas! exactly 3 months before Christmas day. oooh, so exciting! :)

i guess i wanted something new in my life- or at least try out something new. i wanted to try belly dancing. this morning i am perked up to try out the dance exercise but everyone at home woke up early as i did. ashamed of being seen dancing, i postponed my dance exercise till tomorrow.

this morning i have felt something in my chest. a piercing sensation but it suddenly goes away. then comes back, then goes away. it kinda bothered me, so i prayed for it. actually, i felt it since last night. so since last night i started praying for it. and every time i feel it, i pray. i claimed in Jesus Name that i am healed, by His stripes i am definitely healed. even if it continues to bother me, i know i am healed. i have entrusted to God my whole health, and even the health of my family. if He has healed sick people long before i was born, i know that He will do the same with me.

i have this book entitled Hung by the Tongue by Francis Martin, and it is filled with God's promises we can rely on to our daily lives. Pastor Martin shared in his book that success is ours if we speak it. we can claim God's promises if we believe by faith. fear will prevent us from speaking victory. it will deter our faith. if we believe in our hearts that Jesus healed us, then we speak it by faith, God will surely heal us. it is very timely that i received his message, for i am experiencing a physical malady. like the personal experience of Pastor Martin, i too have entrusted to God my health. i told God that i believe in Him that He alone can heal me, even if i don't go to the doctor. He is our Great Physician and by Jesus stripes we were healed. fear has seeped in my heart too. but i rebuked it and claimed God's healing. i know i am healed. i praise and thank Jesus for healing me. now i have my own testimony to share- of how God's power healed me.

truth is i'm still experiencing that as of this writing. but i exercise my faith, i believe in God. and when He said that i am healed, i know i am healed.

Mark 11:24
      Whatsoever things you desire, when you pray, believe that ye receive them and ye shall have them.

91 days before Christmas!

*thank You Jesus for healing me.

I've been complaining of my headache since yesterday. i don't know why but i think this was brought about by sudden movement. i was about to be in a deep sleep when my mom called me and i suddenly got up to respond. and since that incident I've been feeling this. this is migraine perhaps. and because of that i always wanted to be in bed and sleep. but if i sleep all the time i will headache all the more. this will come to pass, i will be ok. this is not grabe.

I've almost forgotten that i have to get Rizia's report card this morning. mama woke me up to remind me about it. and I'M VERY PROUD OF MY DAUGHTERS!

last week i attended the parents-teachers conference for Shareign. her teachers told me they were impressed of how she's doing in school. they were surprised that for an autistic she is advanced among her classmates. she has memorized the alphabets, colors, shapes and numbers. and she can speak unlike her other classmates. she got good grades from her exams! they even praised her attentiveness during class. she is the most attentive, bright and active among her classmates.

my youngest daughter wasn't able to attend 2 exam days which worried me. i know that it will greatly affect her grades. fortunately though, she was given special exams and amazingly got good grades too! there's this one exam she got perfect- surprisingly- MATH. we do not love math, we abhor math that we won't be surprised if my kids will not like it too. but praise the Lord, she got a perfect score. and from all subject, it's math! unbelievable! hahaha! her lowest grade is Filipino. she hasn't been familiar to tagalog words, since we've been talking to her in taglish. her teacher told me it's a little difficult to teach her filipino. but it's ok. in time she will learn. her teacher is all praises with her attitude in school. she's the most obedient and quiet student in the class. she told me Rizia is never a headache. :)

i thank God for giving me such bright children. they really are a gift- a blessing from heaven.

Christmas count: 100 days left till Christmas!!! :) ooh.. i'm so excited!

at last, after a year of bumming, my daughter is now back in school. it has been because of our financial difficulties that hindered her to continue schooling. God has given us a surprise blessing this month, and that was an answered prayer! supporting a special child is difficult- the tuition fee and the therapies are expensive. it's no problem when you're well- off. but with God all things are possible! now we were able to send her to school.

i enrolled her this afternoon at MARIAM CLAIRE INTEGRATED SCHOOL. it was really exciting for her and for me. but it was hard for shareign to be separated from me even for a while especially when she's with a stranger. the teacher told me that as soon as she gets distracted, i'll leave her inside the classroom. 2 mins later i left her inside and waited in the school lobby.

i whiled my time away by reading the Bible from my ipod and listening to my playlist. the first song it played was WITH YOU by mark willard from the movie facing the giants. as i listened to it my eyes were brimming with tears.... i was so deeply touched by the song.

Mark Willard

With You

Verse 1:

You have been so good to me
How can I find the words to thank You?
Healer of broken hearts and broken dreams
Lord, I will never cease to praise You.

Chorus:

With You, all things are possible.
Like an eagle I can soar.
With You the giants fall
They rise no more.
With You I overcome when fear and faith collide.
There’s nothing I can’t do
Anything is possible with You.

Verse 2:

I am constantly amazed
You are a God forever faithful.
As I look back on my history of grace,
how could I be anything but grateful?

Verse 3:

No mountain is too high, there’s no valley that’s too deep
You’re calling me to walk by faith so I will take a
Leap...take a
Leap

Anything, anything is possible with You
With You
It’s possible with You.

the song is true to what i experience with God. there isn't anything that's impossible with God- even my daughter's situation. i've been praying for her since i am pregnant with her and until now. and with her condition she needs more prayers than before.

after the assessment, her teacher spoke to me about shareign's condition. she told me that she did well. she behaved while in class, attentive and focused. it was a surprise to know that she behaved because i know that she tends to be easily bored with the things she do and can't keep her focus. the teacher told me that if her development progresses, she will then be transferred to regular school specifically, nursery class. it was an answered prayer! i can't keep this to myself, i wanted to share to everyone how God has been so faithful and generous and merciful to me and my family. God has granted the desires of my heart, answered my every prayer and more. indeed, God is so good!

when we talked about the school fees, i was more amazed. while we were travelling to school i prayed that her tuition fee will not be more than 6000 pesos. God has answered my prayer. her monthly tuition fee is only 3500 pesos! God is so good!

i can't stop thanking God everytime i think of his blessings in my life. as a matter of fact i try not to do bad in the sight of God because it will hinder the continuous flow of blessings in my life. i guess it's just one of the ways how God nudges me to continue my steady walk with Him, and not give in to what the world has to offer.

God is just so amazing.