You know what happened yesterday? I wasn't able to make it to work. My husband Edward just told me not to go to work. He didn't agree in the first place. He wanted me to work, yes, but he doesn't want me to work with that kind of schedule. And I don't know if it was like an answered prayer. Haha. I was crying and I was telling God how heavy my feeling was. I don't know if it's good or not- and since this is the choice I made, I just got to trust Him. At least I have learned to listen to Edward, and submit to his decision. (Which is not really me, but I love God and so follow Him..)

UpWords - Week of Jan. 28 - Feb. 3

last week was rough but memorable. i remembered it was a saturday when the typhoon struck and we lost electricity. yesterday another typhoon hit the northern regions of luzon, which in a way affected metro manila. typhoon pepeng is as destructive as ondoy, only ondoy generated so much rains while pepeng produced more winds. we can sleep soundly tonight for we are far from danger. the direction and speed of typhoon pepeng changed and i hope it would leave the country ASAP.

i'm so thankful that metro manila is now recovering from the damages caused by the typhoon. one filipino virtue is resiliency- easily rebounding from any adversities. and filipinos are a bunch of happy people. not because we make fun of the situation, but we have hope in our hearts that these problems will come to pass and that a Supreme Being- God- is going to bless us.

i know that inspite of what have happened, filipinos are very optimistic- we will have a merry Christmas. to celebrate God's goodness and protection, and to thank Him for what He has done.

i've lost count as to how many days it is before Christmas. i do not want to count anymore. i'll post it tomorrow :)

heavy rains struck the metro and its neighboring towns, 26th of September 2009, Saturday. our electricity was cut-off around 3:25 in the afternoon, and was brought back after 3 days. for 3 days we were clueless of the disaster that Typhoon Ondoy generated. we only heard rumors of the flood that reached 5-6 feet deep, and stranded people in the streets and inside their homes or on the roofs of their houses waiting to be rescued. it was tragic, and it was the first time i have ever experienced that kind of calamity.

we were still fortunate though, that we live on a higher area of Cainta, where we rarely experience flooding. but for those living in the low lands, they have been greatly affected by the floods. 27 September at 4:00 am, the electricity in a village behind our house was restored. of course we envy them every time we look out of our window and see our neighbor have electricity.

inspite of that we're still very thankful to God that somehow we still have money to buy food. and that time i was expecting remittance from my husband in Dubai. we went out, 4:30 in the afternoon and saw muddy roads and bushes that fell from trees. just then have i realized the aftermath of the calamity. we went to a market 3 blocks away from the village, and saw that a fast food is closed. i brought along our drained cellphones to be charged in a convenience store in that area and saw that it was broken. there was a shortage of candles. there were limited crops in the market and so i realized how terrible the situation was.

28th of September we went out to withdraw money from a mall. hordes of people were shopping that time and bought a lot of supplies that stocks ran out. candles, canned goods, bread even poultry and meat products. people were panic buying for the fear of running out basic supplies. but if there is no electricity, where in the world are you going to keep fresh produce so it won't spoil? good news is that the floods subsided, and the roads passable even by small vehicles.

only today, 29 September, at 11:30 am was the electricity restored in the village and everything went back to normal. i browsed the internet to see news of the typhoon and was grief-stricken to what my fellowmen suffered. what they have gone through was worse than ours. their appliances, electronic gadgets were broken; their clothes dirty; their houses muddy inside out. at least we were just cut off-of electricity and internet and telephone. i thank God for protecting us and for sparing us from the calamity. i just wouldn't know what i would do if i were in their situation, considering my special daughter and my old mother. and i don't know how to swim! i don't know what i would do...

my aunt asked for help because flood reached inside their house. they said that it would take 2 months before the flood would completely subside- not just in their area but to those who are greatly affected by the flood as well. so my cousin and her 4 month old baby girl would be here with us until everything is ok.

i've seen people showing their concern for our situation that they are offering monetary support. we're not really asking that from them but if their hearts tell them to help us then it would be greatly appreciated. actually, the mere act of concern is enough to touch my heart to let me know that i am not alone.

i know this is just but one part of life one has to go through. and when one has overcame the trials he will be so much blessed. as long as you pray and believe that you already have what you've prayed for then consider it done. in this kind of situation it only takes faith and prayer, and a hopeful heart.

thank You God for Your grace. thank You for Your love that endures forever. thank You God, thank You Jesus for everything. I love You, Lord. thank You so much.

89 days before Christmas!

there are a lot of happenings this past week. first, my daughter's been schooling. as a hands-on mom i wake up in the morning to prepare their breakfast and baon, send them to school and fetch them after classes. as i've told in my previous posts, i'm getting really tired but this weekend is just a blessing. of course, no classes!

last friday my sister brought home a bad news. she was terminated from sitel because of poor performance and tardiness. my sister was saddened about the announcement. that was the first job she liked in her whole working life, and the only job she enjoyed doing. that was the only job she felt she was happy doing that she never dragged her feet going to work. too bad it wasn't meant for her. she felt she was sabotaged by indifferent superiors so she was terminated. but my sister's resilient. she bounced back after that incident. she realized that God is teaching her something and that there is certainly a purpose why God didn't want her to continue working there. the reason why, i don't know, but God will reveal it in time.

last wednesday or thursday ( i can't really remember the exact day) i received a letter from PLDT and Telus. the pldt letter is for me, about my default payment arrangement. truth is i forgot about it, and wasn't able to pay for it. so they sent me a letter. but now it's settled. :) from Telus is for my sister, stating that she has to report back for work after an AWOL (my sister always does that *wink*).  it as a month already since she AWOLled from job but it was a coincidence that they sent a letter because she was about to be terminated from work. unfortunately though, the letter was so super delayed that they have closed her profile in the company and can't go back to work- unless she re-apply. wala rin, ganun din. hehehe.

another bad news surprised us: my cousin who is pregnant and married is now abandoned by her husband leaving her for another woman. that cousin of ours is our closest cousin- she was like a sister to me. i was shocked when she sent me a message in my friendster about it. my sister called her up immediately to find out if it's true, and indeed it is. i feel so bad for her. i think men like his husband should be put to jail. at least be put to jail rather than be killed. let's just say whatever is the worse- i just won't say it.

she has to sue him for infidelity- only if she have in hand an evidence to prove it. but i think she has to pursue suing him. if i were her i'd not want to have anything to do with him and her family. i'll take responsibility of raising the child without the father. i'd rather think of him as dead or not existing at all. even if his family would ask to see our son i'd fight for my right as a mother neglected by their son who doesn't care at all. i hate guys like that.

and also last friday, my daughter wasn't able to go to school because her school service didn't fetch her up. i'd definitely tell the principal about this matter. they should know that it will be hard for my daughter to travel! the reason why we sent her there to study is because of the tuition fee! and a service from school is equivalent to money because i will be paying for it! i just want convenience for my daughter. they should've told me if they are not going to fetch her so we'll be looking for someone else! grrrr...

while i was looking for my daughters' birth certificates, i found my CAP certificate of scholarship. it was a scholarship certificate transferred to me by my husband since he's busy working. he has given me that so i can continue my studies. unfortunately it didn't push through, so the certificate was like useless over the years. now that i found it i'd like to pursue my college education again. how i wish it's God's plan.

i think i've already mentioned in my previous post that we already found a helper at home. better so that she could do the things i don't want to do- cleaning the house, washing the dishes and all the other chores. hehehe. but she's leaving for work as early as now (she just came in last week and now she's asking for a vacation). valid reason: she has to take her baby girl back to the province. the baby is hindering her from working. several times she can't finish her job on time because the baby is crying and is looking for her. there are times that she can't clean our room because she has to leave early. she even forgot to iron my daughter's uniform! grrr... very emotional week.

but above it all, i'm thankful for God's grace, we're still alive. God is so good! Thank you, Lord!

be updating again if i'm not busy. so long, maties!

at last, after a year of bumming, my daughter is now back in school. it has been because of our financial difficulties that hindered her to continue schooling. God has given us a surprise blessing this month, and that was an answered prayer! supporting a special child is difficult- the tuition fee and the therapies are expensive. it's no problem when you're well- off. but with God all things are possible! now we were able to send her to school.

i enrolled her this afternoon at MARIAM CLAIRE INTEGRATED SCHOOL. it was really exciting for her and for me. but it was hard for shareign to be separated from me even for a while especially when she's with a stranger. the teacher told me that as soon as she gets distracted, i'll leave her inside the classroom. 2 mins later i left her inside and waited in the school lobby.

i whiled my time away by reading the Bible from my ipod and listening to my playlist. the first song it played was WITH YOU by mark willard from the movie facing the giants. as i listened to it my eyes were brimming with tears.... i was so deeply touched by the song.

Mark Willard

With You

Verse 1:

You have been so good to me
How can I find the words to thank You?
Healer of broken hearts and broken dreams
Lord, I will never cease to praise You.

Chorus:

With You, all things are possible.
Like an eagle I can soar.
With You the giants fall
They rise no more.
With You I overcome when fear and faith collide.
There’s nothing I can’t do
Anything is possible with You.

Verse 2:

I am constantly amazed
You are a God forever faithful.
As I look back on my history of grace,
how could I be anything but grateful?

Verse 3:

No mountain is too high, there’s no valley that’s too deep
You’re calling me to walk by faith so I will take a
Leap...take a
Leap

Anything, anything is possible with You
With You
It’s possible with You.

the song is true to what i experience with God. there isn't anything that's impossible with God- even my daughter's situation. i've been praying for her since i am pregnant with her and until now. and with her condition she needs more prayers than before.

after the assessment, her teacher spoke to me about shareign's condition. she told me that she did well. she behaved while in class, attentive and focused. it was a surprise to know that she behaved because i know that she tends to be easily bored with the things she do and can't keep her focus. the teacher told me that if her development progresses, she will then be transferred to regular school specifically, nursery class. it was an answered prayer! i can't keep this to myself, i wanted to share to everyone how God has been so faithful and generous and merciful to me and my family. God has granted the desires of my heart, answered my every prayer and more. indeed, God is so good!

when we talked about the school fees, i was more amazed. while we were travelling to school i prayed that her tuition fee will not be more than 6000 pesos. God has answered my prayer. her monthly tuition fee is only 3500 pesos! God is so good!

i can't stop thanking God everytime i think of his blessings in my life. as a matter of fact i try not to do bad in the sight of God because it will hinder the continuous flow of blessings in my life. i guess it's just one of the ways how God nudges me to continue my steady walk with Him, and not give in to what the world has to offer.

God is just so amazing.

God has been teaching me a lot of things lately and made me realize their importance. we're going through difficult times now but i believe God is moving. He's going to show His might and power over these struggles we're going through. i realized how sin damages the life of an individual, and how it causes trials in life. the very reason I can't blame God for our afflictions. it's unfair for a God who has our best interests at heart to be questioned and shouted at just because we're facing adversities... when in fact we're to blame. all God wanted was our happiness. He lets us choose which path we want to take. when we stumble because of wrong decisions, He's still there to lift us up and mend our pieces together.

i believe everything happens for a reason. He has planned something for us and it's His will that's happening in our lives. when we choose our paths or our decisions, His will is to allow us to take that certain path or make that certain decision. if we fail, He has a reason: to teach us to listen to Him, acknowledge His presence in our life and seek His help and to learn from the actions we made. He wanted me to depend on Him in everything. the truth is He never gets tired of listening to me...

i have faith that God is going to bless us abundantly- in every aspect of life- just as long as I trust in Him and seek Him first before everything.

when something happens in my life, it's not just about me. it's about God. it's about His marvelous plan for my life.

my journey to work continued. yesterday, i went back to Commonwealth for my final interview. the traffic was heavy that i got late for my appointment. after 5 minutes i was called. i got inside the room, not so tensed at all. i felt confident, i had to exude confidence or else i'll stammer. i was asked to describe myself, my work experience and educational background. she briefly told me the results of my exams and interview. she told me that the scores i got were below minimum requirement for tech support applicants, so they offered me customer service instead. but they have to assign me in Commonwealth. i didn't agree. the place isn't accessible. by cab yes, but practically i don't want to be assigned there. it will take me 1 hr to get there by cab and 2 hrs by other means. since the place is a hundred miles away from home i can't say that i'll be amenable in shifting skeds and graveyard. imagine spending 400 pesos only for a cab? that's unreasonable. i asked to be endorsed in ortigas, where it's nearer from our place, but the HR told me that i will be assigned for outbound collections. no way man! my sister whines about it and she told me that that account is toxic! i saw her several times dragging herself to work and gave up. i turned down all their offers, their options, which left me with nothing.

i didn't felt bad. i wasn't disappointed at all. i just felt sad that i didn't meet the expectations of the people believing that i can do it. and i was thinking that my dreams were like a feet away, so close that i can almost grab it. but it vanished into thin air, leaving my dreams shattered and my heart broken. i understand perfectly what the HR said, to weigh my options and consider my priorities. i can be hired if i wanted to but the thing is, even if convergys is prestigious and all but i didn't like my work, then it can be grueling. it will seem like a battle everyday. i'm not really after prestige, fame and money- that's secondary. i'd prefer to have a job where i can express myself and i am not confined. a job which i really love doing, a job that i really enjoy. you can't be successful if you force yourself to something you don't like doing. it's like pushing yourself against a wall- it will only leave you drained but you don't get through.

that night before, i prayed and asked God for His will to be done. i know this is what He wants. i'm not sure exactly why He allowed this to happen- i guess He wanted to teach me and show me something. things happen for a reason, and all things work together for good for those who love the Lord. Romans 8:28. one of these days i'll understand why it turned out this way. but i have placed my complete trust on the Lord, and i believe that He is planning something great and special for my life. i just need to wait upon the Lord...trust in Him...and one day everything will turn out OK.

i woke up early, around 6:30 am. it's still early, so i gave myself an hour of sleep extension. i got up at exactly 7:30, and prepared for the big day. at 8am i left home and hit Convergys Commonwealth.

it was a 45 minute travel by a cab, and it was a good thing that the traffic was minimal. when i get there there were a whole lot of other applicants waiting for their turn to be called. it was very cold which added to my nervousness chills. i met new friends while waiting for my interview. after waiting for a decade i was finally called. i got inside the room with 4 other applicants and the HR started the interview.

the initial interview is about work experience and educational background. piece of cake. the next part of the interview was nerve-rattling. we had to pick a question from the box and answer it. just like in the beauty contests. so i answered the question as poised and as confident as i can... after which we have to wait again for a couple of minutes for the results.

we spent the time waiting in the pantry and availed the 50 pesos worth of complimentary meal given by the company. convergys' so generous hehehe. a surprise came while we were eating our meal. the HR handed out papers wherein the result was written. unexpectedly, i passed and the other 3 i'm with failed. i am very much elated that i passed the first part. but i have to undergo a series of exams and interview...

i waited again, for another 15 minutes for my name to be called. that is for the online exam. when i was called and 5 other applicants, we got inside the room, picked a seat and started our online exam. the first part is basic computer knowledge. the second part is listening skills exam, where we got to listen to someone and write down what he said. also, the call situation exam where we listened to a call situation and choose the best option appropriate for that particular situation. lastly is the personality test.

you might think that that was so easy for me. not really. there's this part in the online exam where we get to listen to calls and then asked about the information given by the customers. and during that time, i don't know, perhaps my mind was at rest or i just feel tense that i wanted to go to the restroom and pee, or maybe i was listening too hard that i missed out the infos that the customer is giving out. i even asked myself, "what's going on with me?!" the words were fleeting through my mind that it didn't even took the time to register. that time i thought that maybe i failed this part of the exam, and i am not expecting at all that i would pass. but still i did. thank God!

the last part of the test is the typing skill test. we should reach the requirement of 35 wpm (words-per-minute). i started right away and got 38 wpm, less 2 mistakes so that made it 36 wpm- the adjusted speed. i didn't bother to retake the test though we can take it as many times as we like until we reach 35 wpm or above; because my results might change. instead of achieving a requirement of 35 wpm, i might jitter and attain below requirement. so never mind.

finally, i was able to make it through the whole day of twists and turns. i was advised that my final interview would be at 7:25pm. i can't wait that long (coz i finshed around 3pm), and i don't want to travel from Commonwealth to Cainta at night by myself. so i asked the HR to re sked my final interview the next day. yeah, he granted my request but very, very early! he told me to be there before 9am! wow... as in wow.

convergys is the company where aspirant agents wishes to be employed. and i'm one of them. i'm one step closer to achieving my dreams. if i pass the final exam, thank God for this opportunity to be working in a prestigous, envied company. but if not, thank God because i had a chance to prove to myself that somehow, i can do it. i failed but i'm not a loser. it's a stepping stone to regaining my confidence. whatever happens, MAY YOUR WILL BE DONE, O GOD.

yesterday wasn't really so bad... i was surprised by my husband with an unanticipated birthday package- a dozen pink roses and a cuddly stuffed bear.






and i thought that i would be having a black and white birthday. i did, but my friends came over to celebrate with me! though all i can afford was halo- halo, we still had loads of fun :)






it was so nice having them since my day was a little gloomy. i just thought that this is life, this is all but natural and inspite of the crisis i still received a present. i guess i should learn to be content of what i have... hehe.

anyway, i thank God for the protection and blessing for the past year, and now He's given me another year to fulfill His plans and to accomplish my mission. i will try to be more focused on my goals and try not to waste my time lol. my birthday is like new year where i make resolutions and hopefully not break them. i hope to see a better me as i turn a year older- in all aspects of life. i hope to attain eventually the ambitions i have for myself and for my family. i pray for prosperity, more blessings and protection for the year ahead.

i will be a victor in life, for i believe "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13