God's will

my journey to work continued. yesterday, i went back to Commonwealth for my final interview. the traffic was heavy that i got late for my appointment. after 5 minutes i was called. i got inside the room, not so tensed at all. i felt confident, i had to exude confidence or else i'll stammer. i was asked to describe myself, my work experience and educational background. she briefly told me the results of my exams and interview. she told me that the scores i got were below minimum requirement for tech support applicants, so they offered me customer service instead. but they have to assign me in Commonwealth. i didn't agree. the place isn't accessible. by cab yes, but practically i don't want to be assigned there. it will take me 1 hr to get there by cab and 2 hrs by other means. since the place is a hundred miles away from home i can't say that i'll be amenable in shifting skeds and graveyard. imagine spending 400 pesos only for a cab? that's unreasonable. i asked to be endorsed in ortigas, where it's nearer from our place, but the HR told me that i will be assigned for outbound collections. no way man! my sister whines about it and she told me that that account is toxic! i saw her several times dragging herself to work and gave up. i turned down all their offers, their options, which left me with nothing.

i didn't felt bad. i wasn't disappointed at all. i just felt sad that i didn't meet the expectations of the people believing that i can do it. and i was thinking that my dreams were like a feet away, so close that i can almost grab it. but it vanished into thin air, leaving my dreams shattered and my heart broken. i understand perfectly what the HR said, to weigh my options and consider my priorities. i can be hired if i wanted to but the thing is, even if convergys is prestigious and all but i didn't like my work, then it can be grueling. it will seem like a battle everyday. i'm not really after prestige, fame and money- that's secondary. i'd prefer to have a job where i can express myself and i am not confined. a job which i really love doing, a job that i really enjoy. you can't be successful if you force yourself to something you don't like doing. it's like pushing yourself against a wall- it will only leave you drained but you don't get through.

that night before, i prayed and asked God for His will to be done. i know this is what He wants. i'm not sure exactly why He allowed this to happen- i guess He wanted to teach me and show me something. things happen for a reason, and all things work together for good for those who love the Lord. Romans 8:28. one of these days i'll understand why it turned out this way. but i have placed my complete trust on the Lord, and i believe that He is planning something great and special for my life. i just need to wait upon the Lord...trust in Him...and one day everything will turn out OK.