Enigma of the Heart

it's my complacency that led to emptiness. i've been so preoccupied with things that are not of worth, instead of diligently seeking Him. and now i wonder why these things are happening, where His presence could be, what His will is for me, and many other questions that only He could answer. I'm engaged with things that i lost sight of Him. my eyes were veiled, my senses insensitive of His calls. all too often i complain with my situation but i rarely took time to pray. while i begin to ask where is He in those difficult times, i didn't notice He was there, right beside me all the time.

nevertheless, God is compassionate, merciful and faithful. He never gets angry for long, and always forgives. He is always willing to fill our hearts with His peace, love and joy. When we ask, He will answer. God is always with us. all we have to do is to go to Him. seek Him. spend time with Him. for only then we will experience His presence. only then we will be sensitive to His voice. and when we find Him, His river will come rushing toward us and drown us... at that moment, we are filled to the brim and overflowing.

i haven't blogged in a long while and i really missed sharing juicy stories of what's going on with me. haha, juicy? there've been a lot of plans, come's-and-go's, and decisions i have to make. good thing i have the Lord with me or i'm sure i'll burst. for every plan and every decision there are a lot of considerations and weighing them, justifying each of them is not at all easy. there are times when i feel more discouraged than hopeful, or perhaps i've been lingering in the thought of the impossibility that it attempts to falter my faith and think of the negative. but of course, i wouldn't let that thought stay too long inside my mind. i won't let that happen. the Holy Spirit is at work within me and my faith sticks on the promises of God and to God Himself. i believe there is nothing He can't do and that He will fulfill the purpose He has for me. God wanted to give me all the good things He planned for me just as long as i continue to trust in His will and believe in Him.

THE PLANS
1. moving to a new home- where? i don't yet. we are still praying for it. but God willing it will be next year, somewhere in Taytay or Antipolo.
2. continue college education- enroll next year in UP, or any school God is leading me to. but hopefully it will be UP.. :)
3.going back to my former church- i really, really, really have to pray for this. i'm asking God for directions and leading. can't do this without HIM. after all, i'm doing this for God's glory.

the message at church is about faith and is very timely. these past few days i've been receiving messages about faith all the time. and i know that it's really God who speaks to me through different people in different circumstances. the sermon struck me- if you want to progress and receive great things, blessings from God, then you should be willing to TAKE THE STEP OF FAITH. after all, fatih without deeds is dead. these plans are like super colossal walls vs. a minuscule me in front of it that it's hopeless to get over it, tear it down, even impervious from man-made things that are made to demolish. but I have faith. I have God. all i have to do is pray, worship Him and do what is needed to do. and with just a snap of His mighty powerful Hands, that gigantic, humongous wall will crumble in front of me, with success just behind it. and the glory is due to whom it is due- to the EVER LIVING, ALMIGHTY GOD.

faith, i can move the mountains. i can do all things through Christ. faith, standing and believing. i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Hillsong Faith (For This Cause)

Hebrews 11:6 (New International Version)

this morning at church they played this song "I Love to Love You". i wasn't familiar with the song but i got the melody quite quickly that i was able to sing along with the worship team. here it goes,

oops, i did it again. i thought i was over that and assumed i'll never do it again. i was very determined to pull out those thoughts and feelings from my heart and mind but they kept haunting me. oh just when am i going to learn? c'mon, stop making the habit of saying sorry! if you're really sorry then just stop doing it!!! divert your attention to things worthwhile. and when you feel it, just ignore it! do not pay attention, ok~! grrr. and now you're sorry- again. this time i hope it's for real.

i remember a verse from the Bible,

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

pepeng is here. don't you worry because God will turn that typhoon in the opposite direction- back at sea- so it won't aggravate the pitiful situation of our fellowmen. God will protect us. and because of fear that flood levels will go up, my relatives from Pinagbuhatan who experienced flooding evacuated here at home. they might stay here until Christmas or just until the flood subsides. and i'm not in good terms with Edward. (do you really have to post that? ;-) oh well.


thank you, God for forgiving me from all my sins. but that verse doesn't give me the right to sin, just because You'll keep on forgiving me. You require me to be holy just as You are holy God. please help me to not commit sin and glorify Your Name always. protect us from harm o God, and may You reverse the direction of the typhoon so it would just stay at sea and won't continue devastating the country. thank You, Jesus.

85 days before Christmas!

this morning, i was so thankful that God healed me. i praised and thanked Him in my prayer. i seek for Him during my morning quiet time. and i found the promises from God's word which i can trust. i wanted my life to live for God's glory and the Spirit revealed to me through God's word how i could live a life glorifying to God. if i want to know the perfect will of God for my life, i should be transformed and renewed. i shouldn't conform my self any longer to the patterns of this world. According to

Romans 12:2

           Do not conform yourself any longer to the pattern of this world , but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.

that ain't easy to do. but by the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, i know that i can do it. if i have to renew my mind then i have to censor my thoughts. any thought that is not aligned with God's words should be pulled down, and thrown away. that is actually one of the keys to a victorious Christian life- to have our minds renewed and transformed by Jesus then everything we do is in obedience to God. when you become obedient to God, definitely the blessings will follow. i quoted and memorized this verse so that i could have a weapon.

2 Corinthians 10:5

            We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we make captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

our minds is the battlefield. everytime we think of something, especially if it is not good, then we're already engaging in a battle. we shouldn't dwell on that thought for too long, or else we will be imagining things within what we thought. when we start imagining we think of the steps that we're going to take just to do what we thought of. and when we let our thought and imagination linger on our minds, we take action. why? because that imagination became a stronghold and starts controlling our life. that is conforming to the world. we have to censor our thoughts. throw down negative thoughts and rebuke it in the name of Jesus. replace it with God's words that has power. we should be controlled by God, and not by our thoughts. our thoughts should always be according to God's word and the perfect will of God. that should be our stronghold- God's words. when we have fully relied on God's word, we will truly be victorious in every aspect of life. trials may come but that wouldn't tear you apart and break you to pieces. because God's word and His promises are our foundation, we're sure to be blessed even in our trials and sufferings. we just have to learn to censor our thoughts and

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

God bless us all!

90 days left before Christmas! exactly 3 months before Christmas day. oooh, so exciting! :)

i guess i wanted something new in my life- or at least try out something new. i wanted to try belly dancing. this morning i am perked up to try out the dance exercise but everyone at home woke up early as i did. ashamed of being seen dancing, i postponed my dance exercise till tomorrow.

this morning i have felt something in my chest. a piercing sensation but it suddenly goes away. then comes back, then goes away. it kinda bothered me, so i prayed for it. actually, i felt it since last night. so since last night i started praying for it. and every time i feel it, i pray. i claimed in Jesus Name that i am healed, by His stripes i am definitely healed. even if it continues to bother me, i know i am healed. i have entrusted to God my whole health, and even the health of my family. if He has healed sick people long before i was born, i know that He will do the same with me.

i have this book entitled Hung by the Tongue by Francis Martin, and it is filled with God's promises we can rely on to our daily lives. Pastor Martin shared in his book that success is ours if we speak it. we can claim God's promises if we believe by faith. fear will prevent us from speaking victory. it will deter our faith. if we believe in our hearts that Jesus healed us, then we speak it by faith, God will surely heal us. it is very timely that i received his message, for i am experiencing a physical malady. like the personal experience of Pastor Martin, i too have entrusted to God my health. i told God that i believe in Him that He alone can heal me, even if i don't go to the doctor. He is our Great Physician and by Jesus stripes we were healed. fear has seeped in my heart too. but i rebuked it and claimed God's healing. i know i am healed. i praise and thank Jesus for healing me. now i have my own testimony to share- of how God's power healed me.

truth is i'm still experiencing that as of this writing. but i exercise my faith, i believe in God. and when He said that i am healed, i know i am healed.

Mark 11:24
      Whatsoever things you desire, when you pray, believe that ye receive them and ye shall have them.

91 days before Christmas!

*thank You Jesus for healing me.

i anticipate a busy, tiring day tomorrow. tomorrow i will enroll my youngest daughter in school, then in the afternoon accompany my eldest daughter to her school. i've been very busy these past few days and i was a little stressed out. the things that perk me up inspite of my exhaustion are the blessings of God, when my kids smile, kiss and hug me, going to the mall and laying on the bed. but overall, i need some rest- and a good massage :)

i ran out of words to say- perhaps of fatigue. i'll just sleep and everything's ok again!

before i end up, i recall a verse from the Bible:

Isaiah 40:29-31 (New International Version)

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

i have hope in the Almighty God and tomorrow i will regain my strength, ha! :)
 
Praise to God forever and ever!