Enigma of the Heart

I am actually very nervous now because today is my first day for working for a new account, with new people and under new supervisors. I don't know what to expect. The good thing about it is that we have a fixed day off- weekends; plus the fact that it's non voice, back office. I really don't want the schedule (it's 9pm-6am)- graveyard. When I get home from work my husband's at work already. We will only have a few hours together before I get to work- which is so sad.

I hope that I could start blogging again. I missed this so much. Last year I started working and so I haven't found time blogging anymore. But this year, I'll try to squeeze this in my very busy schedule. I haven't even uploaded our pre and post Holiday pics in here yet. I didn't realize we have a lot of catching up to do! :)

Aside from the full time job I have, I also do a part time job as well. It's a work-at-home special agent. See how busy I am? And I have made a mistake to commit on an 8-1 sked... :(

I have started my Victory small group yesterday. It was nice, having to meet and learning about God.

I'm really very sleepy already. I have to end my shift now and go to sleep. I still have work later. See you tomorrow.

my journey to work continued. yesterday, i went back to Commonwealth for my final interview. the traffic was heavy that i got late for my appointment. after 5 minutes i was called. i got inside the room, not so tensed at all. i felt confident, i had to exude confidence or else i'll stammer. i was asked to describe myself, my work experience and educational background. she briefly told me the results of my exams and interview. she told me that the scores i got were below minimum requirement for tech support applicants, so they offered me customer service instead. but they have to assign me in Commonwealth. i didn't agree. the place isn't accessible. by cab yes, but practically i don't want to be assigned there. it will take me 1 hr to get there by cab and 2 hrs by other means. since the place is a hundred miles away from home i can't say that i'll be amenable in shifting skeds and graveyard. imagine spending 400 pesos only for a cab? that's unreasonable. i asked to be endorsed in ortigas, where it's nearer from our place, but the HR told me that i will be assigned for outbound collections. no way man! my sister whines about it and she told me that that account is toxic! i saw her several times dragging herself to work and gave up. i turned down all their offers, their options, which left me with nothing.

i didn't felt bad. i wasn't disappointed at all. i just felt sad that i didn't meet the expectations of the people believing that i can do it. and i was thinking that my dreams were like a feet away, so close that i can almost grab it. but it vanished into thin air, leaving my dreams shattered and my heart broken. i understand perfectly what the HR said, to weigh my options and consider my priorities. i can be hired if i wanted to but the thing is, even if convergys is prestigious and all but i didn't like my work, then it can be grueling. it will seem like a battle everyday. i'm not really after prestige, fame and money- that's secondary. i'd prefer to have a job where i can express myself and i am not confined. a job which i really love doing, a job that i really enjoy. you can't be successful if you force yourself to something you don't like doing. it's like pushing yourself against a wall- it will only leave you drained but you don't get through.

that night before, i prayed and asked God for His will to be done. i know this is what He wants. i'm not sure exactly why He allowed this to happen- i guess He wanted to teach me and show me something. things happen for a reason, and all things work together for good for those who love the Lord. Romans 8:28. one of these days i'll understand why it turned out this way. but i have placed my complete trust on the Lord, and i believe that He is planning something great and special for my life. i just need to wait upon the Lord...trust in Him...and one day everything will turn out OK.

i woke up early, around 6:30 am. it's still early, so i gave myself an hour of sleep extension. i got up at exactly 7:30, and prepared for the big day. at 8am i left home and hit Convergys Commonwealth.

it was a 45 minute travel by a cab, and it was a good thing that the traffic was minimal. when i get there there were a whole lot of other applicants waiting for their turn to be called. it was very cold which added to my nervousness chills. i met new friends while waiting for my interview. after waiting for a decade i was finally called. i got inside the room with 4 other applicants and the HR started the interview.

the initial interview is about work experience and educational background. piece of cake. the next part of the interview was nerve-rattling. we had to pick a question from the box and answer it. just like in the beauty contests. so i answered the question as poised and as confident as i can... after which we have to wait again for a couple of minutes for the results.

we spent the time waiting in the pantry and availed the 50 pesos worth of complimentary meal given by the company. convergys' so generous hehehe. a surprise came while we were eating our meal. the HR handed out papers wherein the result was written. unexpectedly, i passed and the other 3 i'm with failed. i am very much elated that i passed the first part. but i have to undergo a series of exams and interview...

i waited again, for another 15 minutes for my name to be called. that is for the online exam. when i was called and 5 other applicants, we got inside the room, picked a seat and started our online exam. the first part is basic computer knowledge. the second part is listening skills exam, where we got to listen to someone and write down what he said. also, the call situation exam where we listened to a call situation and choose the best option appropriate for that particular situation. lastly is the personality test.

you might think that that was so easy for me. not really. there's this part in the online exam where we get to listen to calls and then asked about the information given by the customers. and during that time, i don't know, perhaps my mind was at rest or i just feel tense that i wanted to go to the restroom and pee, or maybe i was listening too hard that i missed out the infos that the customer is giving out. i even asked myself, "what's going on with me?!" the words were fleeting through my mind that it didn't even took the time to register. that time i thought that maybe i failed this part of the exam, and i am not expecting at all that i would pass. but still i did. thank God!

the last part of the test is the typing skill test. we should reach the requirement of 35 wpm (words-per-minute). i started right away and got 38 wpm, less 2 mistakes so that made it 36 wpm- the adjusted speed. i didn't bother to retake the test though we can take it as many times as we like until we reach 35 wpm or above; because my results might change. instead of achieving a requirement of 35 wpm, i might jitter and attain below requirement. so never mind.

finally, i was able to make it through the whole day of twists and turns. i was advised that my final interview would be at 7:25pm. i can't wait that long (coz i finshed around 3pm), and i don't want to travel from Commonwealth to Cainta at night by myself. so i asked the HR to re sked my final interview the next day. yeah, he granted my request but very, very early! he told me to be there before 9am! wow... as in wow.

convergys is the company where aspirant agents wishes to be employed. and i'm one of them. i'm one step closer to achieving my dreams. if i pass the final exam, thank God for this opportunity to be working in a prestigous, envied company. but if not, thank God because i had a chance to prove to myself that somehow, i can do it. i failed but i'm not a loser. it's a stepping stone to regaining my confidence. whatever happens, MAY YOUR WILL BE DONE, O GOD.

My husband and I chatted last night so I slept late. We argued about many things which led me to jobstreet.com to look for a job. I realized that the need was urgent that I can’t put off my job application for tomorrow. I saw an opening in 2 call center companies. A part time call center position caught my eye and so I decided to pass my application in these companies, and I applied for Tech Support. The first call center I've submitted my application to was...aw...I forgot. But the other is Convergys. After that I prayed and told God for His will to be done. I told Him that if one of these companies will ever call me for an interview, it means God wants me to work. But if not, then I won’t work.

When I woke up this morning, I’ve completely forgotten what I have prayed for. Nor I was expecting a call from any of the call centers I have submitted my application to. To my surprise, around 11 am, I received a call from Convergys! I was speechless. But since the man on the line was asking me questions, I have to answer. He asked me about my personal details and why do I want to work part-time. I answered every question he asked and then told me I passed the initial recruitment process. I didn’t know it was a phone interview! I just thought the HR was just asking me questions about the validity of the entries I’ve written in my resume. If I only knew it was an interview, I should’ve answered better. Afterwards, I received an email confirming that I passed the phone interview, and other details I might have missed during the call. I’ve passed, thank God!

I need a lot of prayers and God’s guidance and intervention. Because at times I feel I can’t do it. Sometimes I lose confidence of myself. But more of me takes this as a challenge. I am excited to learn new things or at least try to do something new in my life. I am motivated to press on and hopefully succeed.

I’ve started my first step in my job application. Tomorrow I have to get up early and prepare myself for a series of interviews and exams. I am quite nervous thinking about this challenge I have to face. Perhaps this anxiety is also excitement. I’ve prepared the dress I’ll wear for tomorrow; I’ve rehearsed my supposed-to-be answers (if in case those were the questions they’ll ask). I am actually preparing myself now- emotionally, mentally and physically. I will be in Commonwealth tomorrow- a hundred miles away from home. I will miss my kids so much. I know they will be sad when I leave home but I have to do this. After all I’m doing this for them- and for myself as well.

Break a leg Happy- you can do it! :) God bless you!