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filipina. child at heart. aspiring singer. frustrated dancer. music enthusiast. uber shopaholic. emotional. moody. big dreamer. smart. sweet. sensitive. i am who i am.

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Remorse

I have realized earlier today (as in very early today) that some good things never last, like the one that we had. It must have been a bad decision to give him a third chance, when I knew all along the personality that he has. He is a liar, a cheater, a player, a heart breaker. He can never be trusted. He's playing with girls' hearts and when he's got what he wanted, he will just leave them wounded and broken.

I was never different. All those songs, they never meant a thing. Everything was just b*s*. I am sorry, I really am angry. I just can't believe he would do that to me. But at least I know better now and having him back would be the stupidest thing I will ever do. I won't let him back, and we're never ever, ever, ever get back together. As in, never.

He won't make me believe all those lies, he won't make me fall again for those apologies and sweet words anymore. I regret the very first day he has come back and wish that it never happened. Honestly, I wanted to  go to Dr. Mierzwiak, and undergo a procedure to remove all the memories I had with him. I want to completely delete him from my mind, my system and from my heart. I was actually asking God to extinguish that flicker of love and hope left inside my heart for him. I don't want to be hopeful about us anymore, there's nothing to be hopeful for... I'm giving up.

No one knows exactly what I'm going through right now. I can't tell anyone about this, so I'm facing it all by myself. Letting go is so difficult, but I have to do it- drastically, impulsively. I don't want to cling to anymore memories, and I don't want to give my heart a chance to think twice. He left me in midair, and never came back. I knew all along that he cheated on me, that he just played with my heart and toyed me.

I swear he's going to regret this, every single thing he did to make me fall in love with him. He will suffer miserably for the pain he's brought me. He just doesn't know what I'm going through right now. I am angry, bitter, and just doesn't wish for good luck nor happiness for him. Why would I even do that? I will be a hypocrite if I would be happy for him.

Karma will get even with you soon. Very, very soon. You will regret this.

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Our First Educational Tour with Daddy

Feb 28- Twas a red letter day for the family. For the first time, Daddy will be with us for Rizia's educational tour. I wasn't that excited, but I didn't sleep much the night before. 4:30am we woke up, and prepared for the day.

The itinerary for the day:
- Intramuros Fire Department
- Philippine Star
- Manila Ocean Park (the one we're most excited to go to!)

We did took a lot of pics of that day- we want to make this most memorable since this is Daddy's first time :)
I won't say much, the pictures will tell it all. :)

I guess I'll have to do this some other time. The connection's soooo sloooww. Can't upload pics :(
Even klove's buffering from time to time. Grrr.

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Today

I am glad to be staying at home, playing with the kids and doing what I love to do. But looking at our situation, I know that I have to work. I've got to work. I can't understand why this have to happen. I really feel so sad.

I just got to trust God's ways. I just need to let God and let go.


Philippians 4:6-7 (New International Version, ©2010, BibleGateway.com)

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


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Holiday Uploads

Since I haven't blogged for quite a long time already, I wasn't able to upload our holiday pictures. Our holiday celebration was a blast! My husband's here, we're so blessed, and I am so thankful! :)

PRE- HOLIDAY SHOTS

Daddy setting up the Christmas tree

"Mommy, oh, rainbow!"- We saw this while we're setting up the tree :)

FAMILY BONDING AT STA. LUCIA


sisters :)


♥ mommy and daddy ♥

JUST A FEW HOURS BEFORE THE NOCHE BUENA




MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :)

-yum! :p




shareign and rizia :)


mama and rizia

wow baby, you have lots of gifts!

DECEMBER 25



HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!




fireworks!!!



yay!!!



FIRST SUNDAY OF 2011






PS. The Philippine football team- The Azkals-  are making waves! Congratulations for the victory! Mabuhay!


Ang galing mo, Chieffy Caligdong!!! Ikaw na! :D 

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i missed you, Manila!

You know what happened yesterday? I wasn't able to make it to work. My husband Edward just told me not to go to work. He didn't agree in the first place. He wanted me to work, yes, but he doesn't want me to work with that kind of schedule. And I don't know if it was like an answered prayer. Haha. I was crying and I was telling God how heavy my feeling was. I don't know if it's good or not- and since this is the choice I made, I just got to trust Him. At least I have learned to listen to Edward, and submit to his decision. (Which is not really me, but I love God and so follow Him..)


Edward and I had a date in Manila. We have to go to the clinic (where he had to undergo a medical exam 5 years ago when he was supposed to go to Saudi. There he had to be re- evaluated since he's re-applying in Saudi again.) This morning I am not really in the mood to go with him since I have just finished my 5 hours work, but when we're travelling in the streets of Manila, I was thankful that he insisted me to come with him. I didn't realize that I have missed Manila.. I was there for 2 years since I studied college there. A lot has changed after 10 years... I used to travel for 2 hours just to get on time for my first class in the morning, now there's LRT. It will only take you 20 mins to get there from Pasig. Too bad I wasn't able to capture photos of Manila. I will definitely come back and bring a camera and snapshot the places I will be visiting. I hope to visit the National Museum soon. I was in elementary school when I last visited the place. Included in my itinerary would be Luneta/Rizal Park, a tour to Intramuros and then to the Mall of Asia. I will definitely tag my kids along. I would like them to see them running around the grassy lawns of Intramuros and telling them the rich culture and history of the country.

Since I'm still not going to work, I will have all the time to accomplish the things that I want to finish- especially watching the entire drama series Baker King, completing the Harry Potter series and Max Lucado books. I will also have time to sign up for Odesk and start working there. Who knows, I might get good feedbacks after accomplishing the tasks they have assigned to me. And that might be the key to working full time at home. At least I'm working full time at home :)

I had a wonderful time with God this morning. He spoke to me through my devotion, and He used Max Lucado to minister to me. His words made the big impact:

And be encouraged. God's ways are always right. They may not make sense to us. They may be mysterious, inexplicable, difficult, and even painful. But they are right. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them" (Rom. 8:28).

From
Come Thirsty

Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2004) Max Lucado

Crosswalk.com Devotionals, UpWords with Max Lucado

UpWords - Week of Jan. 28 - Feb. 3


I will just continue trusting in God. Things may not be going on the way I wanted, but God's will is better- is perfect. I will trust You, Lord. You know what's best :)

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Monday

I am actually very nervous now because today is my first day for working for a new account, with new people and under new supervisors. I don't know what to expect. The good thing about it is that we have a fixed day off- weekends; plus the fact that it's non voice, back office. I really don't want the schedule (it's 9pm-6am)- graveyard. When I get home from work my husband's at work already. We will only have a few hours together before I get to work- which is so sad.

I hope that I could start blogging again. I missed this so much. Last year I started working and so I haven't found time blogging anymore. But this year, I'll try to squeeze this in my very busy schedule. I haven't even uploaded our pre and post Holiday pics in here yet. I didn't realize we have a lot of catching up to do! :)

Aside from the full time job I have, I also do a part time job as well. It's a work-at-home special agent. See how busy I am? And I have made a mistake to commit on an 8-1 sked... :(

I have started my Victory small group yesterday. It was nice, having to meet and learning about God.

I'm really very sleepy already. I have to end my shift now and go to sleep. I still have work later. See you tomorrow.

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2011

It's been a very long time (a year actually) since and a lot has happened to me. If I give account to all the days I've missed, I guess I will have to stay up for 2 days and will still have a lot of stories to tell. Well, to sum it all up, God has been so good to me. He blessed me during the past year, and He continues to amaze me!

I am not sure if I have mentioned here that I have been working in one of the easiest account in the call center there is. (I don't want to say that that is the best, because I know I am still gonna have the bestest ☺) I thought that I was gonna stay there for good, though. Until the management announced that we will only be staying until the 28 of January... I really felt bad. But I have realized that God has something better in mind... Something better than what I have now. So yesterday, I went to this company (will disclose it later. not ready to announce it now ☺) and praise God! I passed the first 2 stages of the recruitment process. And I am yet to undergo the Operations Manager interview. I don't know what to expect, but the Lord says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you". I don't have to worry.

Two weeks after-

I didn't pass. Why? I am not sure. Only one thing's for sure:

Romans 8:28 (New International Version, ©2011, Bible Gateway)

 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.

God called me for a purpose, and He has a great plan for those whom He loves. I am His child, He has given His life for me; died to save me from the eternal punishment of hell. Therefore, He loves me :)

---JANUARY

A week after the New Year holiday, the whole family went through a 7 day prayer and fasting, wherein we consecrated ourselves and abstain from solid food the whole week! I didn't think I'd make it- if it weren't for God's sustenance we would have given up after the first day. We're not only thankful for God's presence, and a breakthrough in our spiritual lives; we've lost weight! (which is cool right?) And that was like a bonus from God :)

Since then, God has been doing amazing things in us, and will continue all throughout the year!

The first Sunday's preaching was about Isaiah 61, THE YEAR OF THE LORD'S FAVOR. And we declare, indeed this is the year of the Lord's favor!

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